Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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