I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Randomize
