he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Tornado booty call.. dedication
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
