i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize