the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
