none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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