take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
