DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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