Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
