who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize