Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
