I wish I could punch you in the face.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I need a burrito and a hug.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize