I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
