Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
