I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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