Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
