It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Drake has all the answers
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
