I skipped work to stalk him.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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