i will never coherently bang her
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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