All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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