i just wanna soil my oats bro
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
