Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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