well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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