U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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