since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
