You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
