Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
