I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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