This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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