kristin has been a bad kristin
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Drunk is not a location!
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
