After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you would pick up someone in the library
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
