I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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