Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
ugly people sure do ruin things
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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