He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
