If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
