sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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