have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
