Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
