You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize