come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
my shit smells like andre
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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