We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
