He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
