Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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