after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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