Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
He passed out mid-signature
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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