sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
