found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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