addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
