Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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