I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
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