As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
