I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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