It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
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