Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
