what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
well you can't waste a boner
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
