I need help removing her.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
