you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
