I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize