he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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