One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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