I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
