My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize