Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
