Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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