His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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