My nipple is on Facebook.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Randomize
