Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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